


The First Rule of a Bromance

by MimzyBear



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, brief mention of past abuse very vague
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26880826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MimzyBear/pseuds/MimzyBear
Summary: Etho and Beef struggle with their feelings which starts to negatively impact their friendship. Luckily they have some good friends who see them struggling and help them talk out their feelings until the two of them are comfortable enough to talk to each other.
Relationships: Etho/Daniel M. | VintageBeef
Comments: 7
Kudos: 62





	1. Overthinking

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time writing fanfiction... I hope at least one person reads it and enjoys it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please don't ship real people, these characters have become completely different from the real people who created them. I feel as though the fandom has created and developed these characters into brand new personas that have little to do with the Hermitcraft personas. When I wrote this I took more inspiration from other fanfiction to develop the characters than I did from Hermitcraft, where these characters actually came from. Okay, I will step off my soapbox, but please just don't ship real people. (Why do the tags even have their real names in them). Anyway, happy reading!

The hermits all gathered in the shopping district and chatted amongst themselves as they waited for the last of them to arrive to the meeting. Xisuma had been promoting this meeting for weeks, in an attempt to get all of the hermits to show up. It looked as though it worked. Everyone was there already, expect for a few stragglers who had communicated that they were on their way. Xb was one of them, but everyone understood since he chose to settle so far away in this world. When Grain arrived, he brought along Mumbo’s message, saying he would be right over. He said Mumbo was working on a redstone project and had to clean up first.

The last person was Beef. Etho thought it was weird that Beef was arriving late to the meeting. It was out of character for him. Beef was always one of the first to show up to these world-wide meetings. That is one of the many things he and Etho had in common. The two of them prided themselves on how punctual they were. They could always count on the other to show up ten minutes early. They would pass the time waiting for everyone else by talking to each other. Both of them have been hermits for a long time and became really close friends. They usually settled down close to each other in every world that their group traveled too; but for some reason, in this current world, Beef and Etho were further away from each other than they had been in a while. Not only just the distance between their bases, but time spent together too. Etho determined that it must just be the new world hype and amount of work that has been keeping the two of them from hanging out much recently. However, they have been in this new world for about six months now. Shouldn’t that be enough time for things to start settling down? Etho was starting to worry maybe he had upset Beef somehow without knowing it. They were supposed to be best friends, how could he have upset him without even knowing he had done so.

“Hey Etho, whatcha thinkin’ about?” Bdubs playfully nudged Etho’s side with his elbow, effectively pulling Etho out of his wondering thoughts. Etho realized he must have been dazed for a while. Because both Mumbo and Xb had showed up, still not Beef.

“Um, oh uh, sorry Bdubs, I was lost in thought.”

“Yeah, that was obvious,” Bdubs replied with a giggle, as he rolled his eyes. “What thought had you in such a trance?”

Etho didn’t really know how long he was standing there unresponsive. If it really had been a long time, he didn’t want to say he was solely thinking about Beef. “Just thinking of ideas for my base is all. I’ve got big plans in mind for the monstrosity.”

“I really need to stop by and see what you’ve got going on in your base. I’ve heard from your neighbors that monstrosity is the right word for it. In a good way of course!” Buds finished with his signature maniacal giggle.

Etho rolled his eyes and his mask covered the smirk he was giving Bdubs. “Um, you wouldn’t happened to know why Beef is running late, would you?” Etho asked shyly.

“Nah, I’ve got no idea. You would be the best person to ask about all things Beef, so…” Bdubs gave Etho an apologetic smile and a shrug.

Xisuma stepped forward a little so he could be seen by everyone a little better than in his previous position in the makeshift circle. Then he said, “Well it looks like everyone is here now so let’s get started.” At Xisuma’s words all the side conversations settled. All Etho could think about was Beef. He quickly looked though each of the faces in the circle and after doing a couple scans, he finally saw Beef. Beef was standing next to Doc. He must have arrived when Etho was talking to Bdubs. Why didn’t Beef come stand next to him?

Etho was not paying any attention to what Xisuma was saying. His mind was still racing with the possible reasons why Beef was late. He kept stealing quick glances at Beef to hopefully catch his eye and give a quick smile and wave, but Beef never looked in his direction. Etho was sure that he must have done something to hurt Beef’s feelings. Why else would he be avoiding him?

Etho suddenly felt kind of sick. His chest felt tight. He hadn’t felt this kind of pain in a long time. He was mad at himself. It is no wonder that he never had many friends. Beef was is first and only best friend and he ruined it somehow. He felt the pain in his chest grow stronger. It was like his stomach was pulling his heart down into the hot, bubbling acid inside itself.

Etho didn’t need other people’s approval, but with Beef it was different. No one had showed Etho the same kind of care that Beef showed him, and he didn’t want to lose it. Sure, Xisuma was kind enough to invite Etho to join Hermitcraft, but Beef was the first person to show a genuine interest in Etho. When they first meet, Beef introduced himself on his own accord. He asked Etho questions and had good conversations that went past the small talk casual friends would have. Etho never had much self-confidence, and when he started hanging out with Beef he began to believe maybe he was wrong about himself. Maybe he is a likeable person, maybe he does have some good qualities about himself, maybe all the bad things he saw in himself weren’t true.

Etho glanced in Beef’s direction again. This time he made eye contact, but not with who he had wanted. He and Doc stared at each other. Doc’s expression was normal at first, like he was bored and trying to pass time by looking around. It was just by chance that Etho looked at him the same time he looked at Etho. But after Doc had a moment to comprehend that he was looking at Etho his expression changed. Etho thought he looked concerned, almost sad.

 _Uh oh_ Etho realized that his facial expressions must have matched how he was feeling on the inside. The thought of someone else knowing all the thoughts he just had made him feel worse. Etho didn’t like opening up to people. He really isn’t a feelings guy. He prefers to bottle them all up and feed those bottles to the demon sitting in the pit of his stomach. He hoped Doc wouldn’t think about it too hard. To be fair, Doc isn’t a feelings kind of guy either, maybe he wouldn’t think twice about the pained expression he found on Etho’s face. Just after Etho had that thought he watched as Doc quietly nudged Beef and whispered something in his ear.

 _Uh no_ Etho thought again, but he couldn’t pull his gaze away. He continued to stare in Beef’s direction, which was a mistake. Beef looked up after Doc finished what he was saying to him, and Beef and Etho locked eyes. Etho couldn’t control his facial expressions. He had no idea what he currently looked like, but he waited anxiously to see Beef finally have some interaction with him. Beef just gave a small nervous smile and looked back to Xisuma.

 _WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!_ Etho thought his expression would concern Beef, just like it had Doc, but Beef didn’t seem to care. His brain was moving way too fast through all of the self-doubt and negative ideas that were spinning through his head.

 _I am over thinking calm down Etho._ Etho took a couple deep breaths and tried to stop thinking. If his brain had an off switch, he would have flipped it, then broken it, so it couldn’t be turned back on.

Etho could no longer hear any noise going on around him. He wasn’t listening to Xisuma talking in the first place but now he couldn’t even hear the shuffling and background noise that comes with all the hermits being gathered in one spot. Etho raised his hand to his chest and felt his heart.

 _Please not right now._ His heart was beating at an irregular and extremely fast rate. He noticed people starting to fly off in different directions. The meeting must be over, but Etho felt as though his feet were stuck in bedrock. He couldn’t move. He continued to feel the beat of his heart. As he focused more on it, a loud thud started pounding in his ears. His vision slowly started to cave in on itself. First is peripheral vision started going black and it slow creeped inward, starting to invade the rest of his vision. He raised his free hand in front of his face.

 _Come on Etho, this has happened before, you know what to do._ He focused his remaining vision on his hand and did his best to make it so he wouldn’t completely black out. His chest began to tighten, and it became really hard to breath.

 _In, out, in, out…. in……. out…….. come on you know how to breathe Etho!_ It was all too much for him, and his body felt heavy. For some reason Etho found himself nodding his head slightly, then he sunk down and he reached his hand out to find solid ground and stabilize himself.

\----------- (a few minutes ago) -----------

“Alright everyone thanks for coming, I know this was a very technically and boring meeting, but it had to be done. Thank you for mostly paying attention. If you have any questions about the upcoming update just let me know, and you are all free to go.” Xisuma watched as all the hermits started to fly off in different directions. After long meetings like this one most of the hermits were quick to leave. Then he noticed Etho, he didn’t look so good. Etho had one hand on his chest and his gaze was fixated on his other. Xisuma could also see that Etho was struggling to stand and breathe. Xisuma quickly glance around to see if anyone else noticed as well. The only people around were Bdubs, Doc, and Beef. Bdubs was turned away from Etho because he was just saying goodbye to Keralis who was flying away. Beef and Doc seemed to have noticed Etho at the same time Xisuma had and reacted the same way as him. At the same time, the three of them briskly walked to Etho. Bdubs had also turned around at this point. The four of them stood by Etho but also tried to give him the space he needed. Beef was standing a little further back than the others.

Xisuma motioned to the others to step back a bit more. “Hey, Etho” he said in a low clam voice. “You’re having a panic attack buddy, but I want you to know you’re safe here. Is it alright if I help you sit down?” Etho didn’t remove his eyes off his hand, he only gave a small nod. Xisuma gently placed his hands on Etho’s shoulders and slowly lowered him to the ground. As he did so, Etho reached down and firmly placed the hand he was staring at on the rough pavement. Xisuma let go of Etho’s shoulders but lowered himself and sat crisscross in front of Etho. Xisuma continued to talk in a low and calming tone. He has had experience with panic attacks before. Both personally and helping others through them. He had never seen Etho have one though and didn’t know what Etho was comfortable with. “Etho, I know everyone experiences and recovers from panic attacks in different ways. I just wish I knew how to help you specifically. If I knew what helps you through them, I would be of a lot more help. I’m sorry.”

Xisuma felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around. Beef had walked forward and looked down at Xisuma with a sad smile. Xisuma understood Beef’s gesture though and stood up and backed away so that Beef could sit down close to Etho. Doc, Bdubs, and Xisuma watched Beef’s movements. He was so smooth and relaxed. Almost as if he had been though these motions many times before.

“Etho, it’s Beef.” He said with a smile and a lighthearted tone. “You’re doing a great job trying to handle this one on your own, but it has been awhile, and this one seems kinda bad, and since I’m here, will you let me help you?” Beef waited and gave Etho time to comprehend what he was saying. There was a moment of silence then Etho gave Beef a small nod. “That’s good,” Beef continued, “I’m going to take your hand now.” Beef slow yet confidently reached out and grabbed the hand that Etho had resting on his chest, and Beef gently pulled it toward himself. He placed Ethos hand on his own chest so that Etho could feel his heartbeat. Beef continued to hold Ethos hand there by firmly sandwiching Etho’s hand between his own and his chest. “Do you feel my heartbeat?” Etho nodded. Then Beef reached out with his second hand and pulled Etho’s other hand to his side. Like he had done with the first hand Beef sandwiched Etho’s hand between his own and his side. Then Beef took in a slow and deep breath. He watched their hands move up and down with his side as he continued to breathe steadily. “Can you feel me breathing?” Again, Etho nodded.

The two of them stayed like that for what seemed like a long time. But the silence in the air, the concern Doc, Bdubs, and Xisuma had for Etho, and the way Etho and Beef started breathing together as if they were one, made time feel like it was moving slower than it really was. So really, the two were only sitting there connected for just under five minutes.

Etho felt as though he had control over his breathing again and gently pulled his hands away from Beef. Etho then pulled his legs in so that his thighs were against his chest and his arms were wrapped around his shins. Then Etho looked up and met Beef’s eyes, and they both stared into the others. It was like they were having a deep meaningful conversation without words. Etho’s expression was thankful, yet guilty. He felt bad that he had put Beef in the position where he had to help Etho. When currently, Etho believed, Beef wanted nothing to do with him. Beef on the other hand, had folded his hands together and placed them in his lap, and looked at Etho with a sad expression. But Etho didn’t think he was sad about the current situation. There was something else bothering Beef that he couldn’t figure out.

Then Etho remembered where he was and what had all just happened. More importantly why it had happened. Those self-doubt emotions mixed with the embarrassment he felt for having a panic attack in front of more people than just Beef was too much for him. He felt the tears bubbling to the surface, any second now they were going to boil over. Etho never cried in front of anyone, there was a few rare times with Beef. Etho just hated showing his emotions, what can you expect from a shy, introverted, and insecure person. Etho broke his eye contact with Beef and lowered his head so that his forehead rest on his knees. Then he started to cry.

Xisuma and the others could see that Etho was crying yet it wasn’t super obvious. They couldn’t hear him, except for a few sniffles every now and again. Etho was a very quiet and gentle crier. He sat there on the ground with his head on his knees and his hair falling in front of what would be the only visible part of his face. His shoulders moved with his uneven breaths as he cried. Xisuma waited for Beef to do something. Xisuma thought, after what just happened, Beef would know how to comfort Etho. Then he noticed that Beef had lowered his head to face his hands and was crying too.

 _What is going on with these two,_ Xisuma thought, _they have been kind of distant lately haven’t they. Hm._ Xisuma turned to Bdubs and Doc, “Do you two know why they are upset, is there something going on between them?” Xisuma whispered.

“Etho seemed distracted before the meeting.” Bdubs quietly replied.

“Now that I think about it, Beef seemed upset when he arrived, and Etho was staring at him the whole meeting.” Doc said in a concerned tone.

“Will you two talk to Beef?” Xisuma asked hopefully. Both Bdubs and Doc nodded and Xisuma gave them a sad smile to say thanks as he patted Bdubs' shoulder and walked to where Etho and Beef where sitting down. As he passed by Beef, he placed his hand on Beef’s shoulder and gave him a warm smile. Beef couldn’t see his smile because of Xisuma’s helmet but he saw the warmth in Xisuma’s eyes.

“Thank you, Beef,” Xisuma said as he slightly nudged his head in Etho’s direction. Beef looked up at Xisuma, his eyes red and tears slowly falling down his cheeks. Beef wasn’t sobbing like Etho but Xisuma could tell he was really struggling with something. Once Beef gave Xisuma a small nod Xisuma walked a little closer to Etho.

“Come on Etho, let’s go talk.” Xisuma reached out his hand and patiently waited for Etho to respond.

Etho took a second to gather himself together. Once he felt as though he could hold back the tears for a bit, he lifted his head to look at Xisuma. Etho took a quick glance at Beef who still sat in front of him. It broke Etho’s heart to see Beef in such a state, so he looked away. He turned his head back to Xisuma, “yeah… okay,” Etho said almost inaudibly as he took Xisuma’s hand with his own. Xisuma pulled Etho to his feet and started to lead him away from the others.

“Do you have your elytra? We can go to my base.” Xisuma said trying to sound as reassuring as possible. Etho nodded and once he had equipped it, they both flew off in the direction of Xisuma’s base.

Once Xisuma and Etho walked off Doc and Bdubs walked over to Beef. Doc was just about to say something when Beef stood up and turned around. Beef hadn’t realized that the other two had come closer and he ran straight into Doc.

“Oh, sorry Beef.” Doc said a little startled himself, as he helped Beef regain his balance.

Beef wiped is face on his arm, “it’s fine,” he said with a sniffle.

“But, you’re not fine. Do you want to talk about it?” Bdubs added in sincerely giving Beef a concerned look.

“No really, it’s fine. I’m just going to go home and get some rest. This…” Beef gestured to the area the three were standing in, trying to refer to what had just happened, “this was all… a lot, you know. Otherwise… I’m fine.”

“Beef the three of us, and Etho, have been friends for a long time. You’re not fine.” Doc said a little annoyed that Beef was hiding something. “Bdubs and I, just want to help you feel better. We can only do that if you talk to us.” Doc placed his hand on Beef’s shoulder and gave him a stern look.

Beef know Doc was trying to be nice but, he was starting to feel a little worse. Bdubs noticed as Beef’s gaze fell to the ground. “Doc…maybe try smiling next time.” Bdubs couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at Doc’s attempt to comfort their friend. He gestured for Doc to remove his hand off of Beef shoulder. “Beef, whether you want to talk or not, why don’t you come with us for a guys night. We can hang out in Doc’s casino.”

“Sure” Beef said quietly.

“Great!” Bdubs responded in his more usual and cheerful tone as he gave Beef a big hug. “And once you are ready to talk, Doc and I are ready to listen.” Bdubs ended the hug and the three flew over to Doc’s half mansion.


	2. Beef's Secret

The flight to Doc and Bdubs’s split mansion was silent. No one in the trio knew the right words to fill the awkward stiff tension in the air. Beef still wasn’t sure he really wanted the company right now. His body was really telling him to turn around and go home. He wanted nothing more than to let the dark nothingness of sleep to take a hold of him for the night. Yet still he followed his friends, as if a small part of his brain knew he really needed someone to talk to right now. _Maybe I should tell them_. Beef quickly shook his head trying to forget the thought he just had.

Once they arrived Doc landed first, his elytra folding neatly behind his back. He turned and watched as Bdubs stumbled upon landing. Doc smirked and looked at Bdubs with a silent laugh, in return Bdubs elbowed him with a quiet chuckle of his own. Not too long after Beef landed a few paces away from them. “It’s this way.” Doc said as Bdubs hooked his arm around Beefs and lead him in the direction Doc indicated. Doc lead them down a short staircase that lead to a bookshelf. He tapped the noteblock at their feet and the bookshelves slid open.

It was a small space that gave off a certain warmness, it was comforting. Beef wondered if Doc decorated it this way as to make the gamblers feel safer and therefore spend more money. _That is something Doc would do._ This thought made Beef smile; his friend was always looking for a way to get the upper hand. Beef took another moment to look around. There was a card table on the left and a pool table and slot machines on the right. Front and center was one large slot machine. It was illuminated by the most hypnotic lights and gold detailing.

Doc noticed Beefs gaze, “How heavy are your pockets Beef? Do you feel like making a gamble?” he tempted as he placed a hand on Beef’s shoulder.

“I’m not really in the mood to play any games tonight.” Beef responded as he made his way over to the card table and slid into the chair closest to him, facing away from Doc and Bdubs. The two standing exchanged glances with each other. It was time to figure out what was bothering Beef.

“Thirsty, can I get you something to drink?” Doc asked the room.

“Lemonade would be nice!” Bdubs replied.

“I’ll just have water, thank you.” Beef said as he looked down at his hands.

While Doc went over to the bar to prepare the drinks Bdubs sat down in the chair next to Beef and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Tonight, is for you. Anything you want to do… or talk about, Doc and I are here.” Beef looked up from his hands and into Bdubs eyes. There was a watery glaze over Beefs eyes, but he blinked a few times and cleared his vision. Bdubs considered that a silent cry for help, “Beef, what is it, what is eating away at you?” Bdubs continued.

Doc set the drinks in his hands in front of their respective owners then sat down across from Beef. Beef took a moment to look at his friends and gather exactly what it was he was going to say. He looked towards Doc who gave him a reassuring nod, then Bdubs who offered a kind smile.

Beef took a deep breath, _I suppose telling them isn’t going to hurt, they are my friends if anything I will find comfort and support from them._ “Alright… I really don’t know why I didn’t talk to you guys before. I guess I thought I could handle this myself.” Beef paused and took another breathe trying to remain composed. Crying would make explaining this harder.

Doc and Bdubs didn’t want to pressure their friend, so they waited patiently for him to continue when he was ready. “Ah!” Beef suddenly put his elbows on the table with frustration and buried his head in his palms, “there is no reason to beat around the bush,” he said quickly, “I HAVE FEELINGS FOR ETHO.” With that, Beef folded his arms on the table and nuzzled his head into the bend of his elbow, effectively blocking out the entire room.

“A crush, you’ve been all… emotional because you have a crush on Etho.” Doc said dumbfounded.

“DOC!” Bdubs glared at him, then softened his expression and placed his hand on Beef’s shoulder, “Doc may have worded that poorly, but he is right. Why is this bothering you so much? Having a crush on someone is normal. If fact,” Bdubs giggled, “I kinda thought you and Etho were secretly dating this whole time! I thought you were about to tell us you two broke up.”

Beef lifted his head from the table. He was surprised, “What?”

“Oh come on Beef, you and Etho have been inseparable since the day you met.” Doc added in plainly, “You can’t be surprised we thought that.”

“You too Doc…” Beef said with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Everyone did.” Doc said as he leaned back in his chair and took a drink from his cup.

Beef relaxed a bit. It helped that Doc and Bdubs were acting so calmly about this. More than that, they were acting like this was any other normal conversation. _They thought we were dating. Why am I so upset about my crush on Etho? It’s just a crush, or is it… NO it’s not, this is more than that. I really like him._

“Beef, what are you thinking?” Bdubs questioned with a little more concern in his voice.

_If everyone else noticed how the two of us acted together, does that mean Etho noticed something? Does Etho know I like him like in that way?_

Bdubs could tell Beef’s mind was running wild, “Beef, whatever it is, Etho is your best friend, you can talk to him.” Bdubs added-in trying to reassure him, but Beef was lost in thought.

_My best friend. SHOOT._ Beef remembered why he couldn’t have feelings for Etho. _Etho is my best friend. I can’t have feelings for him. That would ruin everything, I am breaking the first rule of a bromance… no romantic feelings._ “No Bdubs, that is just it. Etho is my best friend. I’m not allowed to have feelings for him! For a while I ignored it. I thought the little things I noticed about Etho and the way I cared for him was like any other friend. When I realized I liked him… really liked him, I got scared. I tried a lot of different ways to get over him, but nothing worked. So when we moved to this world I distanced myself from him, it hurt, I hate not spending time with him, but separating myself from him is the only way I will get over him…” Beef realized how fast he was talking and took a breath, then continued a little calmer than before, “that’s way I’ve been sad. I miss him, and the worst part is, I think my feelings have only grown.”

There was silence. After Beef’s long rant they realized that Beef’s feelings were strong. This wasn’t just a crush to Beef, and they now understood why Beef was so upset about it. They didn’t know what to say. The only option was for Beef to talk to Etho. Otherwise the two of them would remain in this awkward, sad, sticky situation until they were no longer friends, and that was not an outcome that would be good for anyone. However, Doc and Bdubs both thought convincing Beef to talk to Etho about his feelings was not going to be easy. The two of them looked at each other and understood what they had to do. They both gave each other a confident nod. Then Bdubs opened his mouth to talk…

“I have to tell Etho.” Beef spoke up surprising the other two.

“Well that was easy.” Doc laughed and relaxed in his seat, “I was about to drag you over to him and force you to do it.”

Beef slowly shook his head, “No, I understand this is what I have to do… I am terrified, but I can’t keep living like this… What do you think he’ll say?” Beef asked with much worry.

“I don’t know, but one thing is for sure, Etho is hurting. He must be struggling with this just as much as you. His reason, I don’t know.” Bdubs responded. Then he wrapped his arms around Beef engulfing him into a hug.

After a few minutes Beef ended the hug and stood up confidently. “I’m going right now” Then he briskly walked out of the casino.

“Wow, kids got guts, I was not expecting that level of confidence from him.” Doc said astonished once Beef was gone.

Bdubs rolled his eyes, “I’m proud of him. It’s about time those two figured out they’re head over heels for each other.”

“Why didn’t you tell Beef you can tell Etho likes him. I mean it’s obvious to everyone. Except, ironically, to Beef and Etho.” Doc asked squinting a bit.

“Why didn’t you?” Bdubs threw back to him.

“Hmmm,” Doc nodded approvingly.


	3. Etho's Fears

Xisuma and Etho landed quietly outside one of Xisuma’s towers in the jungle. It was dark and the low rumble of juggle insects could be heard echoing through the trees. Xisuma opened the door to his base and led Etho inside. Xisuma flicked a lever and the lights turned on in the room. It was one large room with a kitchen set up to the left and a lounge area on the right. On the far-right wall were a couple of doors and a stair way going up. The lights were dim, creating a peaceful atmosphere that Etho thought suited Xisuma perfectly.

“Would you like some tea?” Xisuma spoke casually. Etho nodded his response. “You can sit down, make yourself at home. I’ll be over in a minute.” Xisuma gestured towards the couches on the right.

Etho made his way over to the couches and sat on the far-left side of the longer of the two. He looked around the room admiring the interior decorating Xisuma had done. Etho had seen the outside of Xisuma’s jungle towers, never did he think they would be this cozy on the inside, well at least one of them was. Etho thought this one must be the tower Xisuma spends the most time relaxing and sleeping in. On the rare occasions when Xisuma does either of those two things. After a few minutes Xisuma walked over holding a mug in each hand.

“Here you go, freshly brewed.” Xisuma handed Etho a mug and Etho could see the kind smile in Xisuma’s eyes.

“Thank you.” Etho said quietly as he took the cup from Xisuma’s hand. Etho looked down at his cup and made the sudden realization neither one of them could drink the tea at the moment. He looked back up at Xisuma to see how he was going to drink the tea. Xisuma had sat down on the opposite side of the couch and watched Etho think about the current predicament.

Xisuma chuckled to himself then set his mug down on the coffee table. His hands cupped around the bottom of his helmet and Etho watched his gloved fingers undo the latches and pull the helmet off. “There that’s better.” Xisuma said placing his helmet on the table and picking his tea back up. He took a sip, “You didn’t think I wore that thing all the time did you, a man has got to eat. Come to think of it, a man also has to shower, brush his teeth, and I certainly don’t sleep with it on.” Xisuma made himself chuckle and he took another sip of his tea. He watched as Etho still sat there contemplating. “I won’t be offended if you decided to just not drink the tea… instead of removing your mask.”

Etho set the mug down on the coffee table, “I’m sorry you went through the trouble to make it, I wasn’t thinking.” Etho looked down at his lap ashamed.

Xisuma took a deep breath and set his mug down on the table too. Then he turned his body sideways on the couch so that he faced Etho more directly. “If you don’t mind me asking… do you sleep in your mask?”

Etho quickly glanced towards Xisuma keeping his head down. He caught Xisuma’s eyes then looked back to his lap. “Usually.”

“Hmm” Xisuma slowly nodded his head in contemplation. _Etho will always be a man of many mysteries._

Xisuma let the silence take over the two of them for a bit. They sat there in the quiet until Xisuma felt the awkward stiffness leave the room. He could tell because Etho’s shoulders relaxed. Their tea having become cold by now. Xisuma knew he would have a hard time getting Etho to willing talk about what was on his mind. He needed to find an indirect way to bring the conversation around to whatever is going on with Etho and Beef. “You knew a few of the hermits before joining Hermitcraft right?”

Etho looked up at Xisuma surprised, this wasn’t the question he was expecting but he could tell where Xisuma was trying to go. “Mm hm” Etho responded in addition to a nod. Though it made Etho uncomfortable he knew Xisuma was just trying to be a good friend. _Maybe it’s best to talk to someone about this._ “Xisuma… I” Etho stopped, his words getting stuck in his throat.

Xisuma tilted his head so that he could better see the front of Etho’s face. He watched as tears started forming in Etho’s eyes. This was an emotion he had never seen on Etho’s face. Etho was afraid. Xisuma scooted closer to Etho enough was enough, Xisuma did not like seeing his friend like this. “Etho, you’re shaking with fear, what are you afraid of?”

Etho lifted his hands from his lap and held them in front of himself. Xisuma was right, he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. _Why did I let my emotions get this bad? It’s time to talk about it._ Etho tightly closed his eyes and swallowed to clear his throat. “When I was little, before Hermitcraft, before I left home… I didn’t have very many,” Etho shook his head, “any, I didn’t have any friends. I was different from the other boys and my father didn’t like that I felt more comfortable playing with the girls.” Etho looked up to see if Xisuma had put two and two together yet.

Xisuma’s face was filled with concern, the words Etho were saying broke his heart. _People can be so cruel._ Xisuma didn’t want to interrupt so he patiently waited for Etho to continue.

Etho could see that Xisuma understood and was listening carefully, and continued on, “I think my childhood explains a lot about how I act today. Even though all the hermits are very kind and great friends I still have a hard time trusting others and opening myself up to them… I’ve just be hurt so many times before. Beef was the first person I was able to trust, he means a lot to me… he means too much to me. I am afraid that he finally realized that he doesn’t need me… that he is better off without me, I feel like a burden to him. I’m afraid that I was blinded by how comfortable he made me feel that I never realized he didn’t actually care about me.” Saying those words cut deep into Etho’s heart. He wanted more than anything to be wrong.

There was silence for a moment then Xisuma wrapped Etho in a hug. To Xisuma and Etho’s own surprise Etho collapsed into the hug, shifting his body so it fit comfortably against Xisuma’s. Etho let himself cry into Xisuma’s chest.

Xisuma kept Etho in the tight embrace. He knew Etho was wrong, but he wanted to show him, despite what Etho though, there was at least one person who cared about him. Xisuma removed his arms from around Etho and rested them on his shoulders, forcing Etho to look up at him. “Etho, that is not true. I can see the way Beef looks at you. He truly cares, you mean a lot to him... correct me if I miss understood this, but do you have romantic feelings for him?”

Etho sniffled, “y… yes.”

Xisuma tilted his head to one side then embraced Etho in another hug, this one only lasting a few seconds before Xisuma leaned back to speak directly to Etho again. “I can’t speak for Beef, but I think it would do you both good to talk to each other. Believe me when I say Beef cares about you, I’ve seen the two of you interact throughout the years, and what you two have is a true friendship. I might even say you could trust Beef more than your own thoughts at the moment.”

“Thank you, Xisuma.”

“I’m here whenever you need someone to talk to. You are my friend, and I care about your wellbeing. Feel free to stop by even if it’s just to borrow a cup of sugar.” Xisuma offered a warm smile.

“I understand that now… I think there are more people who care about me than I thought.” Etho admitted, which warmed Xisuma’s heart to hear Etho say that.

Etho stood up, he needed to find Beef. As he stood, he glanced down to the full mug sitting on the coffee table. “One day, I would like to come over for tea, and actually drink it. It smelled delicious.” Etho looked to Xisuma.

“I would like that.” Xisuma said as they both smiled, filling the room with the warmth of a growing friendship.


	4. We are Idiots

Etho stepped outside and closed the door behind him. He took in the fresh cool night air with a long breath. Slowly he let it out feeling refreshed and ready to talk to Beef. Etho pulled out his rockets and launched a few, however his feet remained on the ground. He turned his head to look at his elytra and realized it was too damaged to use. _I guess going to Beef’s will have to wait._ Etho put his rockets away and started walking through the jungle. His base was really close to Xisuma’s. He could go home grab a spare elytra then head off to find Beef. He was grateful for the walk; it would give him a chance to clear his head and think about what he was going to say.

As Etho walked the stars would occasionally peer through the gaps in the jungle canopy. Eventually Etho could see his base in the distance. He made his way through the trees and stepped out into a clearing. From the ground his based looked ridiculous. All of the redstone was exposed and everything looked unfinished. _Somehow, I’ve created a base of only interiors_. Etho chuckled to himself. _I need to work on the outside more._ He shrugged the thought away and started walking up the stairs leading to his storage room.

As he neared the top, he could hear the faint trickled of water. He liked how the little pond he had made filled his base with white noise. The water made his whole base more serene. The calming environment helped him relaxed after a long day. He walked by the doorway that lead to the pond and did a double take. _Beef._ He turned back around and stood in the doorframe. There on the other side of the walkway was Beef. He had his back to Etho, he probably didn’t even now he was here. Etho stood frozen, he didn’t expect to see Beef here and he was caught off guard. He watched Beef, who was admiring the plants and greenery in the pond. It was a very beautiful place. Especially at this time of night, because the area was solely lit up by fairy lights strung around the edge, fireflies, and the dim lights under the water that created a magical glow.

Etho remained in the doorway as Beef started to walk out the door on the other side. “Beef.” Etho said sporadically, trying to find his voice. Etho had never seen Beef turn around so quickly.

“Etho” Beef sounded relived, excited, timid all at once. “I’m sorry to intrude, I was looking for you. I didn’t mean to stay here when I realized you weren’t here, but I found this place and it drew me in. It is absolutely beautiful I couldn’t stop looking at it and”

“Beef,” Etho cut Beef’s rambling off and watched as Beef nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s okay, thank you… for uh, liking it…” _What did I just say?_ “Um anyway, I actually wanted to talk to you, so I’m glad you’re here.”

“Yeah, I want to talk to you as well.” There was a bit of awkward tension between the two.

Etho walked halfway to Beef and sat down on the path with his feet hanging above the water. He looked up to Beef and gestured to the stop next to him. “Would you like to sit down?”

Beef lowered his hand away from his neck as he walked over to where Etho was sitting. He stood stiffly next to Etho trying to decide how far away to sit down. He decided on sitting about a foot away from Etho, which was unusual for them, at least back before they grew apart. The two of them used to be so comfortable around each other, it was normal to see the two of them practically sitting in the same spot in the past. But in this moment, the two sat there, a foot apart, both starting at the water with heavy hearts.

Beef swallowed his nerves and broke the silence first, “Are you okay… you know after the, um… the panic attack,” Beef spoke timidly and his hands moved nervously in his lap, “it’s been awhile since that has happened to you.” After saying that Beef realized that maybe it wasn’t true. It was possible that Etho had experienced more panic attacks recently and simply didn’t tell Beef about them. That thought broke Beef’s heart. He wanted Etho to trust him, especially since Beef knew Etho only ever trusted Beef with stuff like that. He looked up at Etho. His own eyes showed how concerned he was for Etho and also how hurt he was at the thought that Etho didn’t trust him anymore.

“Yeah, it’s been awhile. It really scared me because I thought I was done with them. I thought that it wasn’t going to be something I ever had to worry about again... and now,” Etho took a deep breath, “now I’m afraid of triggering one again. I don’t want to go back to how I lived when panic attacks where a regular thing for me, you remember. It wasn’t… I was… I.” Etho stopped and tightly shut his eyes and bit his bottom lip. He was trying really hard not to cry.

“Hey, Etho, it’s okay to be afraid of that,” Beef scooted closer to Etho and grabbed Etho’s hands in his own rubbing the side of them with his thumb. “I remember how hard that time was for you, but you have come so far from then. What ever happened this morning, it does not mean the panic attacks are going to happen more often. It is to be expected that they will happen every once and awhile,” Beef paused searching for the right words, “but you’re strong,” he said confidently. “And anytime I will always be right at your side for support.”

Etho couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. His small body shook as he cried. Beef pulled the smaller male as close as he could to him and embraced him in a warm hug. Etho wrapped his arms around Beef too and they sat there in each other’s warmth for a while. The cool air around surrounding their warm embrace.

Etho lend back and rubbed the tears away from his puffy red eyes with the back of his hand. “Thank you, Beef, for being there this morning. It was really comforting to have you there. But, if I am honest, it was you I was thinking about before it happened.” Etho looked away from Beef. He wasn’t blaming Beef. In no way was it Beef’s fault. Etho blamed himself, but it was how Beef was acting that had bothered Etho so much. Etho waited to hear Beef’s response, Beef didn’t make a sound. Etho turned back to look in his eyes. Beef wasn’t mad or upset, he almost looked guilty like he already knew it had something to do with him. “You’re not surprised?”

“No,” Beef confirmed after some time. “I didn’t know that at the time, but after I talked to Doc and Bdubs I realized that I must have unintentional hurt you. I’m sorry Etho, it’s my fault that we have grown apart… I have been avoiding you.” It was hard for Beef to say those last five words. “I thought it was for the best, but I didn’t realize avoiding you would hurt you so much. In hindsight I should have known that, but at the time I was only thinking about myself… I’m really sorry Etho, please know that you mean so much to me.” Beef was about to confess his real feelings for Etho but he stopped himself. He choked on his words before they could even leave his brain.

“What problem would avoiding me fix?” Etho asked confused, not at all mad at Beef.

“Well, um, you see, the things is,” Beef stumbled over his words, “I BROKE THE FRIST RULE OF A BROMANCE.” Beef stated loudly. Beef’s checks flushed pink.

“Bromance?” Etho questioned tilting his head a little to the side like a puppy.

Beef gulped, “oh um, like two guys who are really good friends, best friends, and they”

“Beef,” Etho interrupted.

“Hm” Beef looked down into Etho’s eyes.

“What’s the first rule?” Etho said optimistically.

The two of them stared into each other’s eyes. Their gazes locked, fitting perfectly together like their eyes were meant to hold the other’s gaze. It was also at this moment that they both realized how the other felt about them, how blinded they were by the fear of their own feelings that they missed the fact that the other felt the same way.

“Don’t fall in love.” Beef let slip through his lips as a whisper, still falling deep into Etho’s heterochronic eyes. 

That was all Etho needed to hear. His heart started to beat faster as the butterflies in his stomach warmed him from the inside out. In one smooth movement of his hand Etho pulled his mask down around his neck and laced his fingers through Beef’s hair, gently pulling Beef’s lips down to meet his own.

He caught Beef off guard, but once he realized what had happened Beef melted into Etho’s touch. He moved his arms to wrap around Ethos thin waist pulling the smaller man closer to him. Etho raised his free hand up to cup Beef’s cheek feeling the warmth of them as they turned pink. Before the kiss got to deep Etho pulled away, however he remined in Beef’s embrace laying his forehead against Beef’s chest one hand playing with Beef’s hair the other against Beef’s chest as well. Etho listened to the rhythmic beating of Beef’s heart contently.

Beef was in awe. Kissing Etho was so much better than anything he had expected. Etho’s lips were soft and fit perfectly against his own. The way Etho’s hand in his hair sent chilling vibrations down his spin, left him longing for more contact. Finally, being able to hold Etho like this, in a loving embrace, was something he thought he could never have. It was nothing like their hugs before, this was like swimming in love.

“For how long?” Beef asked.

“I knew I liked you from the very beginning,” Etho spoke into Beef’s chest, not wanting to move away, “it wasn’t until about a little over a year ago, when I realized my feelings for you were more than that of a friend. It was that day by the river, you fell into the water trying to get the sulker you had dropped.” Etho giggled at the memory and traced swirls with his finger onto Beef’s shirt. “The way you waded out of the water, and the silly pout on your face.”

Beef chuckled at the memory too, “I liked you since the day we met. I just didn’t know it cause I didn’t know I was gay.” Beef gave a short nervous laugh. “It was about a year ago, the end of last season, everything kinda clicked. I realized I was gay and in love with my best friend. Then I stupidly thought the only solution was to avoid you. I can’t believe we both like each other all this time.”

“I suppose we were both kinda stupid.” Etho added in, “Looking back at it now, we kind of acted like a couple.”

“It’s funny you say that, Doc and Bdubs both thought I was upset because we broke up.” Beef said laughing.

“They thought we were dating already?” Etho said finally lifting his head up and looking at Beef.

“Apparently everyone did.”

There was a short pause as the two looked at each other, “Are we dating now?” Etho questioned hopefully.

“Can I kiss you again?” Etho nodded and the two went in for another kiss, longer and deeper this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End, thanks for reading!


End file.
